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Happy Valentine’s Day

Here it is once again. Is it because of the air or  if it is something about the month that makes boys and girls go head over heels during the month of Feb. And as always being single adds to the despondency. When you go to the market and you see little red heart shaped the “heart” hung around the shops and people buying it, what you do yes you just smirk and your mind says “yes, God saved me some bucks” and in my case God has been saving my bucks since what like college, that’s when you know the month love is here with open arms.

So what makes the month of Feb that entire special after all don’t lovers go around hand in hand the whole year. It’s not like they will only bother you with their public display of affection  and that’s the full form of PDA if , if you are wondering the first time I heard greeting-valentine-s-day-card-tree-hearts-kids-kissi-kissing-49704172that term I thought of it as some kind of mobile device that you can take with and roam around with, only during a designated time of the year. This is a month when you already know that for these 28 days or 29(god forbid if it’s a leap year) you will have to tell yourself and say “Deal with it its Feb after all” and the other months you still can’t run away from it.

Mind you loving is not everyone’s cup of tea. Arreee it requires a lot of hard work. Waking up the so called “baby” from bed  that is 10 bucks wasted because a well-loved baby does not get up so easily mind you that baby requires a lot of  “love yous ” and “there for yous”. After dressing up for the office it’s now baby’s turn to call you to say “love yous and love you toos”, that’s another 10 minutes wasted. Once you reach the office and begin the tasks you get so much engrossed that you forget that its lunch hour and your baby does not eat lunch without you and you rush towards the canteen just so late that  it’s time for the baby to go and apparently she always has a busy day and yet she finds time for you. On enquiring and much pursuing it is revealed the baby was waiting for you for so long when instead what she could have done was go out with her friends, not a bad idea is what you think but what you actually say is “oooo baby sorry let me make you eat with my own hands”.  What is a lunch without a walk because lunch is not just lunch idiot it is a way to spend time with loved ones as they say. So after spending a whole 1 hour at lunch you come back to your desk only to find a message on your phone from the baby informing that you forgot to say the parting words that you always used to say and you actually wonder what is the thing you have been doing since long is “wiping your ass”. Anyhow you continue your work till the next time you look at the clock and its evening and you need to go. You have to surprise the loved one after all you know the monster “Feb” is coming. To make things worse they have these designated days teddy, chocolate, hug, propose, and kiss and Valentine’s Day and the poor guy after all the hard work thinks why did they stop at Valentine ’s Day. They should have topped it up with a make-out day.

So you see if you are a lover feel good because you have been doing a job no not just a job but two full-time jobs. And if you are not a lover cheer up and feel good because you saved yourself your hard earned bucks. And to that I wake up from this wild dream and say fuck that “I am a whole lot richer, i am gonna drink to that”. Now that I must say is a “Happy Valentine’s day” boys.


Changing dynamics of love

She picks up her bag to leave. Her eyes are still moist from the last nights chat but that did not deter her to turn around and downloadfor one last time face the man she loved so much for the past 6 years, she says ” if U ever fall in love with someone count till hundred coz that is the multiplying factor of my love for U., but now fuck U”. With this she leaves and the boy sits there at his place unmoved, unabashed and unaware  of his loss. He sips his coffee and gazes at the girl sitting at the adjacent table and thinks “hmm!! nice that one but nxt time may be.”

This is just a summary of one more failed relationship in todays world. No need to tell the entire plot because rest of the part is basically useless because the fact is the warmth and the feelings that were shared just evaporate in such a short time and the protagonists are ready to move on.

 Its good that world is so practical and shit and on top of it you may argue that moving on is better than lamenting with a handkerchief over a failed relationship. I am pained at this irreverble show of unkindness and utter easiness. Today feelings are the last thing that people want to be associated with. ” Sensitivity” is a taboo and so are sensible people. But This is not why nature created human beings. You may counter this but the fact that everything is a direct consequence of love is irrefutable. It is as true as the wind and the sun and the stars and the moon. After all if imagesnot for your love for reading you would not be wasting your time on this shitty article written by someone you dont even know.

You see around and the nature showers you with love everywhere. The tree and the grass, the moon and the night, the sea and the shore are in constant unison with each other. After all it is the love for money and aspirations that pushes us to go far and beyond our capabilities. When i asked a fisherman what takes him inside the turbulent sea into the bosom of death everyday ” he said had it not been for the love of sea for me, my family would never survive”, it is easy to see his plain and simple point of view. After all birds never sing for themselves and sun does not burn for itself. But we humans make a mistake when we try to quantify and qualify love with lust. Christianity describes lust as a cardinal sin not love. Love is the purest feeling that enables us to wake up and feel good each day. After all who does not love having a silent and peacefully relaxed mornings. In these times love is a result of individual wants and desires. For some it arises out of loneliness and for others it arises out of grattitude or sympathy. So my fellow earth mates stop being followers of these modern fucking times of hatred and envy. Be your own self, listen to your inner voice and shower your love on everything that this world offers you be ti a flower or a thorn and you will never have to move on again.

February- The month of love or “seasonal love”

Single beware it’s time to go into recluse once again, nerds its time to once again loath yourself for spending those college hours honing your technical skills and lovers beware its time to let loose your pockets again. Its time to sadly embrace “the love season” or “seasonal love” once again.

If it is just one day then you can somehow hide yourself in your dorm room so as to escape the unusual sightings of public affection on the “gazebo” or in the empty classrooms but the festivities last for about a fortnight bringing forth different and vibrant colors of secretive love. As if the Valentine’s Day wasn’t just enough to torture the single mind that they devised rose day, teddy bear day, the “ultimate bomb” the kiss day and a whole plethora of days that precede and succeed the so called birthday of St. Augustine. I wonder what the reverend saint has to say about this day when everybody remembers someone from the opposite sex but him. Is it a way to mock his lifelong celibacy ? Well maybe not, but it does clearly mock at us the “single people” that whatever the situation is always fall short of popping the question.Funny-messages-for-Valentines-day

You combine the effect of the love season with the fact that many boys still haven’t had their first kiss and you have a bomb of guilt
and a sense of wastage of a few good years of youthful life creeping in  making us self-pitying ourselves, poor us, maybe for once
 the cupid will tell us the art of striking the women’s heart without her actually feeling any pain because until today every arrow of mine has actually pierced, and killed even the faintest of feelings that a girl would have had for me, phew!!! I have to blame my archery skills now.

Well look at It from an investment point of view, what’s wrong in spending a few bucks on a girl when it can buy her a few drinks and the boy a kiss planted on the lips. Considering India’s skewed up sex ratio who knows when a day would come when all the girls would be booked and the only ones looking for their first kisses will be us, terrifying isn’t it. But that is if the kiss is truly planted on the lips because a few years back a friend of mine who was smitten by the girl of our class gifted a rose to her on one of the rose days only to get a smiling thank you in return. He made an ass of himself and was the talking point of our batch for the whole year.


So let me offer you a few tips that my friend, fondly called “Aladdin” by us offered me a few years back when my college life was to about to start. These formulas never worked for me but he surely has made up to the third base umpteen number of times:

  1. Never talk to a girl about another girl, even if you are actually praising her, it makes her feel inferior.
  2. No matters how desperate you are for the girl, never let her realize this, I don’t know why but that drives them away.
  3. Never ever in your life ask for a girls contact especially mobile number. Its funny but no matter how important the task at hand is you will always sound “cheap”.
  4. Remove that grizzly mop of hair from your face, no matter how much you convince yourself of being just so close in resembling Hugh Jack man you end up actually being a jackass.
  5. And this one is a no brainer, go slow on popping up the question because once a girl says “I do”, she will cling on to you like a glue, so enjoy the chewing gum while it lasts and remember to spit it out properly, cos once it gets stuck on your jeans you will have a torrid time getting rid of it.

The above tips will surely help you at least do something worthwhile rather than go in a state of hibernation for a fortnight, because as they say “if Valentine’s day 2014 has gone can Valentine’s day 2015 be far behind”.

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