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बस, अब आगे बढ़ता हूँ

1.1 Rocks and waves- “He knew it when he saw her”

The position of “Namaste”

Before going through this it is suggested that you go through the first part of the story Rocks and Waves (Part 1)

“Wake up, Neharika”, mom called from the kitchen.

This was the 4th time she was calling and Niharika knew that she has to get up this time otherwise mom would barge anytime into her room. Groggily, she gets out of the bed and walks towards the window. Somewhere in the distant a koel is heard singing in her melodious voice. Her class teacher, Mrs. John had told her that a koel sings very early in the morning but is now an endangered bird due to the mushrooming of the mobile network towers. She had said something about waves and signals that Neha could not grasp but at that moment she makes a silent vow to herself to never own a mobile phone. Silent vows like these, taken by a child hold immense power. If everyone keeps at least a few of them the world could be a better place. She enters the washroom and places the toothpaste on the toothbrush in exact quantity as the size of a “pea”, as she had seen her mom do the other day.

 “Come on, hurry up! you need to be given a bath too”, mom is at the door and that is a sound of alarm. It also signifies that the clock has hit 6:30 and she has just an hour before the Morning Prayer starts.

“Alright mom”, she screams with the foam still in her mouth.

After 15 minutes she is ready in her school dress with her shirt tucked in and bag on her shoulders.

“Which one is your first class today”, mom asks as she pulls the comb with both of her hands to brush her hair sideways and clips them.

“It’s the writing class mom by Miss Molly. She is going to teach us the cursive writing today”, said Neharika.

“Hope she learns it well, the curved t’s and I’s just don’t run well in the family”, Mrs. Viz tells herself.

“Okay girl you are ready to go to school”, grab your water bottle and come downstairs for your breakfast. It was always milk toast for breakfast. Neharika climbs down the staircase skipping a step as she reached the drawing room of her house located in one of the most fertile countryside of India.

The family resided in a small accommodation provided by the company Mr. Viz worked for. Their colony was nestled in rural backyards . It was a self-sufficient space with its own parks, temple, school and numerous open spaces. Away from the jostling crowd of the metros this was a perfect place for children like Neharika to thrive and learn about life. There were around 600 families and each were give their own quarters. Every house had a similar façade which lent certain uniformity to the appearance and which certainly to the way of life.

Neharika’s school was 5 blocks down the road, “All the best princess,” said her father in his gravelly voice. She smiled at him and ran after her mother who was already at the gate. It was a 10 mins. Walk to school which Neharika usually took with her mother. 7:15 am is an unsually busy hour in the colony, with parents accompanying their kids to school and milkman with his daily visits, the world around seemed to be in a hurry. Neharika rushed after her mother with hurried footsteps. They pass the colony’s Laxmi Narayan temple and she raises her hands to the level of her chest holding the palms of both hands together in the shape of a lotus, in order to do offer “Namaste” to Lord Narayan.

Her mother raises her eyebrows and looks at her daughter disapprovingly “What did I tell you Neharika?”

She rolls her eyes and raises her elbows to bring them in a straight line forming the perfect age old “Namaste”, just like her mother has always told to do.

They walked for about half a mile until they passed the Sports Club where Neharika’s father used to come during weekends for his game of Table Tennis. She looks at the Basketball court where every evening she would longingly stand with a hope to grow as tall as the other players to be able to play the game on the court.

They walk along the road and take a right on the next turn where they could see the school’s gate clearly. The school gate is a hub of commotion with all the parents stopping by to drop their children. Majority of them being mothers who have come in groups after completing their early morning chores, it was the time of 90s when women were expected to chalk out all their daily activities around the schedule of their husband and children. Somehow it does not matter to them as this was a way and their smiles told the rest.

Mrs. Viz kisses Neharika and bids her goodbye at the gate. She could see all the mother’s going till the classroom with their kids but Mrs. Viz wanted Neharika to be independent and if it has to start from here, so be it. Neharika’s spots her friend Gautami and waves her, Gautami runs towards her and whispers something in her ear, they both giggle and run towards there classroom.

Gautami was Neharika’s best friend, these childhood friendships have an air of innocence about them, devoid of any motives or agenda childhood friends take solace in each other’s well-being. Keeping their bags on their respective seats Gautami and Neharika are greeted by Komal there neighbour. The three friends go for the assembly prayer.

The atmosphere is serene with kids singing “Vaishnav Jan to” with enthusiasm at the top of their voices. Suddenly, Mrs. John pats Neharika’s back. Neharika opens her eyes and looks at her class teacher. Her teacher was signaling her to go forward to the stage. Neharika trudged towards the stage, with the principal’s eyes glued to her she could sense an air of positivity in her smile. Her graceful eyes signified that it was not a punishment but something more that had prompted them to call her to the stage. As she climbed up the stairs, the principal said “ Stand on the chair and keep your hands folded in prayer just as you were”. Neharika joined her hands in the lotus position and raised her elbows in a straight line. She was still feeling a bit shy to be standing at a 4 feet high stool, she could see all her friends from here. She spotted Gautami who had her eyes half open. She rejoiced in this sudden stardom. Neharika closed her eyes, remembered her mother and started to sing “Vaishnav Jan to” in a low voice.

Unaware of this a small boy of medium height and wheatish complexion was standing at the back of the prayer hall, trying to catch a glimpse of the kid who was standing on the chair on the front. He craned his neck and stood on his toes with all his might until he spotted the fair girl standing in the front. The boy thought of doing it himself and who knows joining his hands in a similar fashion would earn him a place “beside the girl”. He could never do that and the prayer ended. However, the boy remembered the face of the girl and that day, it lived in his memory forever, until………

ज़िद्दी यादें

We all go thorough the troughs and the crests of this journey called life. Everyone lives with memories but only a few truly live those memories. Isn’t it interesting how we create a hill of memories on the vast swathe of time?

This is a dedication to those timeless recollections.

Yaariyan

yaariyan new 2

A letter on Diwali

IMG_1434

A Sigh !

A sigh

Yellow Paper Boat

Yellow Paper Boat.jpg

A step at a time

ek ek kadam 2

Behind The Closed Door

Behind the closed door

26 September

It is pouring outside. Keshav looks out of the window and sees the cloud that had blanketed the whole city. He remembered the day today “26 September” and is filled with a flood of feelings. His red diary is opened on the table beside his bed . He knew the clouds are here to stay and anyways there was no office today. So he begins turning the yellow pages of the diary looking for an entry from a particular day 8 years back……….

Kolkata

9:52am

26 September 2014                                                                                                                                                    

 26th September 2010, I remember it correctly. It was 4 years back this very day when I for the first time ever put my foot down, braced myself up and took a decision. A decision to chase the dream that was a consequence of a failure and a legacy. The legacy of a girl I ever loved. I never knew that decision would change me so much take so much and offer so less in return. But I soon found out the journey that I started with a companion, a journey that I had embarked on for the search of a better life for her, if not for the first few steps I would have to tread the entire journey all alone.

I had no idea if my decision to leave the thing at hand and start preparing for exams once again would bear any ripened fruit or at the least any fruit at all. That night I remember telling my father on phone “Father I want to prepare once again, I want to stand on my feet, shoulder my own burdens, give you back at least a piece of the future that you ever saw for me”. The next day I packed my bags and was out once again in the world where the competition was fierce and for each engineering seat at a coveted institution there were thousands of contenders. My father had warned me “Son, The competition out there is rising exponentially every year. When you couldn’t do it last year do you really think you will make it this year?”. Yes he was true the competition rose dramatically no doubt but so did my determination, when you combine determination with love you have a person who sees everything through a single perspective. That’s when your cognition goes out of the window and nothing can convince you to leave your stand neither father’s advice nor mother’s persuasions. Same happened with me.

Anyhow I did what I wanted, I went ahead on my decision only to find that my inspiration would leave me high and dry in the middle not offering even an explanation but just a “GOODBYE! It’s  just not meant to be” card. At that point everything came crashing like a house that a person builds with so much care and affection is turned into rubble within seconds   when the tornado strikes. I kept looking at the ceiling, with every deep breath I felt myself give away. But all this never made me regret my decision I collected whatever was left of me and told myself “buck up”. I made a promise not to love anyone but my parents and sister. I decided to be passive to everything from there on. I took a lifetime oath of being my only friend, and be as tough as a mountain not swayed by anything, I decided feelings will be only the last of things that I will base my decisions on and that’s when  I embraced CHASTITY.

While coming to Kolkata for counseling, my mother was sitting beside me in the flight, after the flight took off she dozed off, deprived of sleep but not of determination to see her son get a seat in the college. I looked at that freckled face, eyes that drooped under the weight of my failures, a heart that asked me “life has come full circles,  when will you hold the arms that had carried you and support us . It’s high time to start giving more and demanding less.” When she woke I told her “mother whatever branch I get I will take it.” I promised myself to be true to the core to myself, to never betray my parents.

 Today exactly 4 years after I made that decision in Delhi , I have achieved what I promised myself and my parents. It’s not even a tad bit closer to offer anything in return for the times of distress, regret and bereavement that my parents went through for the whole of one year because of my decision that was the legacy of someone who had left me after just a first few steps.

 In the College I refined myself constantly. My sole motive was to be good to everyone, to be near everyone but closer to no one. That is why when I write this excerpt from my life I have a glass beside me “celebrating my success to no one but myself and saying cheers once again 🙂 ”.

-Keshav

His lips curved upwards and he closed his eyes for a few minutes, trying to come out of the past memories. He shut the diary and got up. It was still pouring outside and he had a lot to do today.