February- The month of love or “seasonal love”

Single beware it’s time to go into recluse once again, nerds its time to once again loath yourself for spending those college hours honing your technical skills and lovers beware its time to let loose your pockets again. Its time to sadly embrace “the love season” or “seasonal love” once again.

If it is just one day then you can somehow hide yourself in your dorm room so as to escape the unusual sightings of public affection on the “gazebo” or in the empty classrooms but the festivities last for about a fortnight bringing forth different and vibrant colors of secretive love. As if the Valentine’s Day wasn’t just enough to torture the single mind that they devised rose day, teddy bear day, the “ultimate bomb” the kiss day and a whole plethora of days that precede and succeed the so called birthday of St. Augustine. I wonder what the reverend saint has to say about this day when everybody remembers someone from the opposite sex but him. Is it a way to mock his lifelong celibacy ? Well maybe not, but it does clearly mock at us the “single people” that whatever the situation is always fall short of popping the question.

You combine the effect of the love season with the fact that many boys still haven’t had their first kiss and you have a bomb of guilt
and a sense of wastage of a few good years of youthful life creeping in  making us self-pitying ourselves, poor us, maybe for once
 the cupid will tell us the art of striking the women’s heart without her actually feeling any pain because until today every arrow of mine has actually pierced, and killed even the faintest of feelings that a girl would have had for me, phew!!! I have to blame my archery skills now.

Well look at It from an investment point of view, what’s wrong in spending a few bucks on a girl when it can buy her a few drinks and the boy a kiss planted on the lips. Considering India’s skewed up sex ratio who knows when a day would come when all the girls would be booked and the only ones looking for their first kisses will be us, terrifying isn’t it. But that is if the kiss is truly planted on the lips because a few years back a friend of mine who was smitten by the girl of our class gifted a rose to her on one of the rose days only to get a smiling thank you in return. He made an ass of himself and was the talking point of our batch for the whole year.

So let me offer you a few tips that my friend, fondly called “Aladdin” by us offered me a few years back when my college life was to about to start. These formulas never worked for me but he surely has made up to the third base umpteen number of times:

1. Never talk to a girl about another girl, even if you are actually praising her, it makes her feel inferior.
2. No matters how desperate you are for the girl, never let her realize this, I don’t know why but that drives them away.
3. Never ever in your life ask for a girls contact especially mobile number. Its funny but no matter how important the task at hand is you will always sound “cheap”.
4. Remove that grizzly mop of hair from your face, no matter how much you convince yourself of being just so close in resembling Hugh Jack man you end up actually being a jackass.
5. And this one is a no brainer, go slow on popping up the question because once a girl says “I do”, she will cling on to you like a glue, so enjoy the chewing gum while it lasts and remember to spit it out properly, cos once it gets stuck on your jeans you will have a torrid time getting rid of it.

The above tips will surely help you at least do something worthwhile rather than go in a state of hibernation for a fortnight, because as they say “if Valentine’s day 2014 has gone can Valentine’s day 2015 be far behind”.